A Time to Laugh

When Matt Lauer announced this morning that “40 is the new 20,” I admit that I grinned in satisfaction. Ah. . . . then my 38 is the new 18, right? Is 18 the new first trimester? 

Apparently, while visiting India, Gloria Vanderbilt commented that “Pink is the new black,” and the phrase has blossomed from there. So I gathered other “this is the new that” phrases.

• Orange is the new black.
• Yellow is the new black.
• Blacker is the new black.
• Green is the new black.
• Black is the new green.
• Green is the new red.
• Brown is the new white.
• Purple is the new blue and red.
• Yellow is the new pink.
• Bitter is the new black.
• Ugly is the new black.
• Awkward is the new black.
• Fat is the new black.
• Google is the new Yellow Pages.
• Joomla is the new Mambo.
• Comet is the new Ajax.
• Clarendon is the new Helvetica.
• Friendliness is the new cool.
• Hate is the new love.
• Fake is the new real.
• Small is the new big.
• Old is the new new.
• Ignorant is the new educated.
• The US is the new Soviet Union.

Other new-s I’m proposing now:

• Chocolate is the new carrots.
• Westies are the new retrievers.
• Blogging is the new Sominex.
• Picard is the new Darmok.
• Metaphor is the new rhetoric.
• Elmo is the new Seinfeld.
• Babies are the new people.
• Dollywood is the new Disney World.
• South Carolina is the new Michigan.
• New Mexico is the new Mexico.
• Ph.D.s are the new cool.
• Isaac is the new big brother.

And we can’t forget:

• War is the new peace.
• Freedom is the new slavery.
• Ignorance is the new strength.

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