A Time to Laugh

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

Isaiah 49:15-16

When Isaac was still in the NICU, our nursing relationship was pretty rocky. I was desperate to make it a success because I needed to heal from all our previous losses. There’s nothing that’s more a kick in the gut than your body preparing to nurture a little life that’s no longer on this earth. So in order to fully heal, I needed to make nursing a success.

But it wasn’t working. The whole NICU experience was overwhelming for all of us, and I was afraid that we’d never get that nursing “dance” down pat. In those few minutes we were home each day before heading out to the hospital during that Christmas week, I’d weep in prayer asking for God’s help in getting him to just latch on. On New Year’s Day, just as I was about to give up, we figured it out!

Months later on graduation morning–exactly a year after we discovered that our little Isaac was growing in my tummy–I fully understood the meaning of this passage in Isaiah. That 3-hour Convocation ceremony was the longest time Isaac and I had been apart, and I began to grasp what God meant in verse 15.

God aches for us when we’re apart. He can’t forget us. He can rest when He’s nurturing us, cooing at us, and enjoying us. Understanding that God loves me more than I love that little nursling was one more step toward grasping what His Grace was all about.