A Time to Laugh

 versus 

• A WASPy urban legend recipe from the Waldorf Astoria vs. A wingless wasp 
• An Aunt’s favorite treat vs. An ant-like parasite that feasts on baby bees
• One of my few wiki edits vs. One of the more popular “What’s that Bug?” entries
• Actually chocolate cake vs. Actually has fur
• Best eaten drowned in buttercream frosting vs. Best found after drowning the lawn with wading pool leftovers
• Used to contain beets vs. Will be beaten with a Mommy’s pink mock-croc if it shows up again
• Amount of red food coloring in recipe would kill a cow vs. Amount of pain inflicted from sting is rumored to kill a cow

God is not Santa Claus. Making a list and checking it twice to find out who’s been good and gets His gifts. Yes, He sees us when we’re sleeping and He knows when we’re awake, but that’s because He’s helping us, not because He’s waiting to slap our hand. Tweens often worry about admitting they know who Santa really is because they think the toys’ll go away. They pretend a little further just in case. We’re so afraid of the same thing. Like God’s nature depends on us. That ain’t it.

God is not a casino. Wanting to woo you into His never-can-tell-what-time-it-is world. Giving you enough wins to keep you playing. Dazzling you enough to keep spending. Like God’s a slot machine. That ain’t it.

God is not an employee. Going in and out of our lives like air in a balloon. A counteragent to our self. Only able to do what we let Him do. That ain’t it.

It’s not a function of God v. Me. It’s God and me because God loved me first. He started it. And He started it with love. To ignore that is pagan, pure and simple.