A Time to Laugh

Emotionally, Two seems much of the time to be comfortable and content. Life feels good to him. Emotions do not take over as they do at some other ages. Two can express his warm affections both by the sound of his voice and by his cozy, snuggling ways. There is an easy give-and-take between parent and child. He now seems comfortable with himself.

Ames & Ilg’s Your Two Year Old: Terrible or Tender?

Two is not terrible. I don’t know who started that idea, but he was wrong! How could anyone say such a thing?

What a delightful companion he can be in the home! He moves around the house with increasing ease. He goes on little errands. His favorite errand may be the fetching of Daddy’s slippers at the end of the day. He loves to go out for a walk and to walk on the tops of low walls. But he always loves to come “home again.”

The world around him is pouring in through his eyes, and he remembers much of what he sees. He knows where things go. He dotes on putting away the canned goods. He loves to watch all household activities.

My Two loves to help. No matter if they are clean or dirty, he will remove the dishes from the dishwasher. If there’s a bug to be squashed, he runs for the fly swatter. If he notices a loose nail, he gets his own hammer from the garage. He helps Brother eat his dinner and reminds him to use soap when he washes his hands. He bellows at the dog “Get DOWN!” He’s my little helper.

Two likes the feeling of having the same thing happen day after day. Routine suits him. “Again” is the oft-repeated demand. In the morning he likes having his bedroom slippers and bathrobe put on and then going in to watch his daddy shave. The sequences is important. . . . He wants everything to be the same. It is not just the order in which things are carried out, or the way they are done that must be the same. It is the place they occupy. He wants everything in the household to stay right where he put it or where he thinks it belongs. And, he wants everything to be appropriate–belonging to go with the people they belong to.

My Two wants his food hot, but not that hot. His jammies warm, but not that warm. His mother available, but not that available. My Two wants his ketchup puddle to be ever-present and ever-complete. It took me awhile to figure this one out. It’s that sameness and completeness that is important. Perfection is the goal.

My Two talks. Boy! does he talk. There’s nothing he can’t say, but that doesn’t mean anyone will understand. Brother usually interprets the most, and I’m a close second. It’s amazing to hear about everything that’s going on in that growing-up mind. Here are some often-repeated statements in our house:

• “I miss Daddy.”
• “No, I’m wecious” [precious].
• “‘Pooky baby? Where ahh ooo?” [Spooky Baby, where are you?]
• “I need ‘nuggles.”
• “I wike you, Mommy. I wike Daddy. I wike Grandpa. I wike Grandma. I wike Iky.”
• “I wanna show you teetum” [I want to show you something].
• “I want some chocolate rilk, cheeee.” [I want some chocolate milk, please.]

Ames & Ilg mention that this age loves to talk about shoes. But please, please do not ask my Two about his shoes. Please don’t. They are firetruck light-up shoes inherited from his brother. And he does so want to talk about them. And he can say “fire” and he can say “truck” separately. But when you put them together, my Two unintentionally talks like a sailor.

Life is also complicated by the fact that the child of this age finds it extremely difficult to take turns.

Turns are hard. They are easier than “sharing.” Sharing is really tough. Developmental experts say that a child really doesn’t understand “sharing” until they are five or so. To Two, sharing looks more like taking, leaving, or saying good-bye. But my Two’s turn-taking is improving. We’re all learning.

This tends to be an aggressive age, and play with children as well as with objects can be quite violent. Both verbal and physical aggression are conspicuous. Some is for the purpose of protecting possessions. Some seems quite unprovoked. There may be much hitting, slapping, pushing, screaming. Or a child may walk up and push another child over and then knock his (block) house down. Children may bump into each other intentionally.

My Two does love to knock over Brother’s big important block house. He loves to pretend to run into walls with his little poochy stomach. He loves to shoot bad guys. He yells a lot.

Now he has matured to the point where he sets up his own opposites. This is how he finds out about the world–by exploring both of any two opposite extremes in quick succession. Annoying as this kind of behavior may be to the adult, it is a very important part of growing up. Soon will come the time when he can make a choice and stick to it.

This is why I love Ames & Ilg. They are an old standard. My mom still sings the praises of their teacher, Arnold Gisell. She bought his book back in the day when my older brother was small. And she gleaned the same sort of information and found the same reassurance from him that I do from his protegés. Reading what’s developmentally normal stops me in my tracks. It’s not that my Two’s behavior is rebellious or willful. His quick vacillating between choices is testing language, not testing me. He’s not a “viper in diapers” — at least no more than I am. No, he’s a cut-up in pull-ups, I’d say.

And this Mommy needs to remember that “this, too, shall pass” all too quickly. He’s learning about life, just like we all are.

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 17th, 2009 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Look, Love, Read, Remember. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.