{"id":101,"date":"2005-07-07T14:20:00","date_gmt":"2005-07-07T18:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/?p=101"},"modified":"2005-07-07T14:20:00","modified_gmt":"2005-07-07T18:20:00","slug":"thankful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/2005\/07\/07\/thankful\/","title":{"rendered":"Thankful"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am so thankful I have a precious snuggler to rock to sleep. Lately I find myself stealing extra minutes holding him before leaving him to rest for his nap.<\/p>\n

I am so thankful that I had a blissful pregnancy with my Elise. I’m so thankful I got to know her for that short time. I’m so thankful I was really ill in those early weeks so that she made a deep, lasting impression on me. I’m so thankful that I have many happy memories of her life. I’m so thankful that I got to see her and hold her even if she was already in Heaven. I’m so thankful that I touched her curly brown hair and her perfectly bowed lips. I’m so thankful that I got to sing her a lullaby which, I didn’t even realize until weeks later, was ironically “Stay Awake” from Mary Poppins.<\/p>\n

I’m so thankful that she taught me how to be a gentler mama. I listen better. I am better attached. I move more slowly when necessary and more quickly when necessary. I am more playful, more positive, more creative, and more gentle because of that sweet little girl.<\/p>\n

Grant said the other day, “I don’t know other parents our age who enjoy their children this much. I really thought parenting would be drudgery. It’s really, really fun!” I think Elise taught us to wring out every last drop of joy in the seconds that pass. I’m so thankful for the joy we have now because we know her.<\/p>\n

When we lost our first baby, we decided to go ahead and plan for the next pregnancy (for Elise!) as a leap of faith. We chose Ecclesiastes 3:11 as our reminder that God would make that sadness into something beautiful in His time. As we announced her life to our family<\/a> and as we prepared the nursery, we put that verse at the forefront. It still decorates the outside of the nursery door.<\/p>\n

And when she was born to Heaven four years ago, I remember thinking, “I know God can make this beautiful, but I just don’t know how.” And now I’ve got a little better idea. Knowing Elise has made me more clearly understand and more completely embrace God’s Grace. Only God can take such a tragedy and turn it into a complete comedy even in this lost and dying world.<\/p>\n

To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:3<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am so thankful I have a precious snuggler to rock to sleep. 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