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I’m overly sentimental. And today is the 23rd anniversary of when Grant first told me he loved me. . . . Dear darling man. Sweet, sweet man<\/a>.<\/p>\n I told you about my necklace<\/a> a few months back. I said I would wear it until I believed it. . . . Until I believed that I was a survivor<\/a>.<\/p>\n That day has come. I have retired that charm to my bracelet. Which requires another very sentimental story. I’m just going to repost it<\/a>. Just because:<\/p>\n Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, \u2018Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.\u2019 Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.<\/p>\n <\/a>Luke 15:8-10<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n It makes no sense. To a detached deli clerk, it\u2019s just more material goods that are easily replaced. It\u2019s hardly worth the effort. But in love, those little memories are everything. In Grace, material worth is insignificant. A lost son, lost sheep, or a lost coin \u2014 God pursues us even when we have given up ourselves.<\/p>\n It was Thanksgiving Tuesday. 2002. I had just had my last of three miscarriges, my fourth pregnancy loss. I was wearing\u00a0the charm bracelet<\/a> that my sister-in-law, Sarah, had so carefully assembled for me to remember each baby. A pair of baby shoes and an aquamarine charm for our first loss in March 2000. A little girl and a ruby charm for our Elise, born still at full-term in July 2001. A ball cap and a peridot charm for our August 2002 loss (which we knew was a boy). And then\u00a0a little Mommy and child charm<\/a> with an April stone for our most recent loss on November 15, 2002 \u2014 a little girl we were so certain would make it because she was such a surprise. I wore all those to Super Walmart for some Thanksgiving bounty.<\/p>\n I was leaving \u2014 picking up some last minute produce that I forgot \u2014 and I looked down to see my entire charm bracelet falling apart. Every charm except the first two were gone along with all the beads in-between. I retraced my steps, and the disassembly had started somewhere around the Pepsi, but it had really collapsed in the produce. I picked up what I could see, but there were many beads underneath the grape and lettuce displays. If I just had a broom. . . .<\/p>\n I looked around for an \u201cassociate.\u201d As usual, there was no one to be found. Except at the Deli counter. I explained that I just needed a broom to pick my charms. She obviously was unimpressed, but she faked a phone call to someone out of my range of hearing and then told me they were on their way. A lie. No one came. It felt like my family \u2014 or what was left of it \u2014 was scattered on the filthy floor among the raisiny cherry tomatoes, and no one would help me.<\/p>\n Fine. I marched to the cleaning aisle and grabbed my own broom. If they aren\u2019t going to help me, I\u2019ll use someone else\u2019s yet-to-be-purchased broom. If you were also there at Walmart that day, you saw me \u2014 grey, stretchy skirt and all \u2014 sprawled out on that icky floor. The ruby charm. The little girl. The mommy\/child charm had been run over by a grocery cart, but no matter. It looked fine. I retrieved all the charms but one \u2014 the peridot stone.<\/p>\n I looked and looked and looked. I prayed. Hard. The stone could be replaced, I\u2019m sure. But I didn\u2019t want a replacement. I wanted that one. I spent several minutes there, weeping, praying. I set time limits for myself that I kept breaking.<\/p>\n Finally, a nice grandpa and his tween grandson asked what was up. A friend! I explained that I had lost a green stone charm somewhere here, gesturing broadly\u00a0toward the tomato display. The gentleman in the grandpa and the treasure-hunter in the grandson were intrigued, and they looked with me, all of us hoping that new sets of eyes might see something fresh.<\/p>\n They finally but kindly gave up, and the grandpa offered some ideas as we stood next to the bagged lettuce. \u201cYou should tell the manager. Maybe they\u2019ll find it when they clean up?\u201d he suggested. I said with tears in my eyes but grasping at humor, \u201cYou think they clean up here?\u201d He smiled sympathetically. I\u2019m sure he saw the tears. I said again, \u201cI know it was somewhere\u00a0here<\/em>!\u201d I gestured again and looked down. There it was. Hidden among the wilted lettuce pieces. \u201cThere! There it is!!!!\u201d The tears and smiles came easily now. I said, \u201cThank you\u00a0so much<\/em>. If you hadn\u2019t come along, I would have given up earlier. Thank you. You have\u00a0no idea<\/em> what this bracelet means to me.\u201d<\/p>\n I left that night exhausted and exhilarated. God helped me find that last little green charm among the same-colored garbage. He kept me looking when I was discouraged, brought along an unmet friend when I needed support, and put my foot right where I\u2019d see it. It wasn\u2019t infinitely important, but it was important to\u00a0me<\/em>. I look at that bracelet now \u2014 I wear it only to church these days since it\u2019s becoming so chock-full of memorials \u2014 and remember how much God loves me. He has looked for each of us on the dusty floors and under the seemingly more important commercial displays until He found us.\u00a0 And He commissions an angel choir to rejoice with Him when He does find us.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n And so I’ve updated my bracelet. From the cuff style up above to the new Pandora style<\/a> here below.<\/p>\n And because I probably won’t have the chutzpah to tell you this the next time you see me when I’m wearing it, I’ll just tell you now what each bead remembers.<\/p>\n Starting from the silver clasp here down at the bottom and working your way clockwise:<\/p>\n\n
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