{"id":3600,"date":"2011-10-16T13:00:37","date_gmt":"2011-10-16T17:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/?p=3600"},"modified":"2011-10-16T13:00:37","modified_gmt":"2011-10-16T17:00:37","slug":"lift-your-head-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/2011\/10\/16\/lift-your-head-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Lift Your Head Up!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Five years ago today — this hour, in fact — I was in my Meeting of Doom<\/a>. When I wrote that Ebenezer description<\/a> in 2008, I was too timid to name names. Now I will.<\/p>\n

Darren Lawson<\/a>, Dean of the School of Fine Arts, conducted the meeting, and my long-time friend and newly-appointed Division Chairman of Speech Communication Lonnie Polson<\/a>\u00a0was present. That meeting was the beginning of my end in fundamentalism, and eight months of therapy helped me work through the PTSD that those men caused. Eight months of therapy to see exactly what had happened in this and other traumas at BJU.\u00a0Eight months of therapy to not<\/em> be terrified of long hallways (where Darren had first shunned me). Eight months of therapy to comb through their lies. Eight months of therapy to admit that they were psychologically hitting me for not<\/em> hitting my kids<\/a>. Eight months of therapy to perceive through the whole thing that\u00a0God was taking care of me<\/a> and that I was never alone.<\/p>\n

It’s also the four-year anniversary of a trauma from another life-long “friend” from fundamentalism, our former pastor of Heritage Bible, Dan Brooks<\/a>. I haven’t gotten over the trauma he caused. Not yet. And so his was worse. Getting an email<\/em> from any<\/em> authority (but especially religious authorities) still sends me into panicked tears. That’s Danny’s fault. He did that<\/a>. He knows it<\/a>. We told him face-to-face a month after he did it. He simply said that “faithful are the wounds of a friend<\/a>” — a misuse of Scripture.<\/p>\n

All those Bible verses he hit me with? Proverbs 27:6 and Psalm 1, for instance? I’m just beginning to understand what God is really<\/em> saying there. It’s not that you can always count on your friends whacking you; it’s what Oscar Wilde said (and I heard from Steve Brown<\/a>) that “a true friend always stabs you in the front.” That’s a completely different meaning! And it’s not that I was “sitting in the seat of the scorner” by joining a Facebook group<\/a> with a gay guy in it, as Danny accused. An elder in my current church got a big chuckle out of that one — “Has Danny BEEN<\/em> to Bob Jones?” No, I wasn’t the one scorning<\/a>. I get that now. Friendship and love isn’t scorning. Egocentric and prideful separation is scorning<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I just use the Fundy Drive-By Comment Bingo<\/a> over at Stuff Fundies Like<\/a>. Danny gets a Bingo in just one email! And Darren, too, in one meeting.<\/p>\n

I know that each of these people I’ve named has done similar things to others in their care since 2007. So my trauma is nowhere unusual.<\/p>\n

And now I’m realizing that this trauma has happened for 100+ years. Fundamentalism has found a particularly efficient expression of conservative ideology within bibliolatry that’s so\u00a0lithe\u00a0the tyranny is almost undetectable. Almost<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I can see it better now. I can see the truth. Thank God!<\/p>\n[audio:http:\/\/69.89.31.52\/~drslewis\/camille\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/27-Ive-Got-A-Right.mp3|titles=I’ve Got A Right]\n

“I’ve Got A Right”
\nSung by Laura Duncan<\/p>\n

Boss tells me I’ve got to stay down where I belong.
\nTells me my place must be way down, and I’ll get along.
\nTells me that I should be humble and mend my ways.
\nBut I say boss-man will tumble
\nOne of these days.<\/p>\n

I’ve got a right to lift my head up, got a right to lift it way up high.
\nI’ve got a right to lift my head up, got a right to look up at the sky.
\nMy heart has had double of grief and trouble.
\nI want to know the reason why!<\/p>\n

I’ve got a right to change my blue song, got a right to sing out clear and loud.
\nI’ve got a right to sing a new song, got a right to teach it to the crowd.
\nThere must be a showdown for all the lowdown,
\nSo they can stand up tall and proud!<\/p>\n

No Jim Crow laws, no more!
\nNo chain gangs on the levie.
\nSwanee Shore with no trees hangin’ heavy,
\nSo I can see the sky shining way up high.<\/p>\n

I’ve got a right to lift my head up, got a right to lift it way up high.
\n‘Cause I’ve learned my lesson, now I’ll hold my head high
\nUntil the day I die.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

For\u00a0you did not receive\u00a0the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of\u00a0adoption as sons, by whom we cry,\u00a0“Abba! Father!”\u00a0The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,\u00a0and if children, then\u00a0heirs\u2014heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ,\u00a0provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.<\/em><\/p>\n

Romans 8:15-17<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Five years ago today — this hour, in fact — I was in my Meeting<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,19,20],"tags":[107,209,212,429,446,567,568],"class_list":["post-3600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-listen","category-sing","category-speak","tag-bob-jones-university","tag-danny-brooks","tag-darren-lawson","tag-laura-duncan","tag-lonnie-polson","tag-protest-signs","tag-protest-songs"],"yoast_head":"\nLift Your Head Up! - A Time To Laugh<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/2011\/10\/16\/lift-your-head-up\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Camille Lewis\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/16\\\/lift-your-head-up\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/16\\\/lift-your-head-up\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Camille Lewis\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e93a8c9ec8fb8b926471114158437f82\"},\"headline\":\"Lift Your Head Up!\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-10-16T17:00:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/16\\\/lift-your-head-up\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":822,\"commentCount\":48,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e93a8c9ec8fb8b926471114158437f82\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/16\\\/lift-your-head-up\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/69.89.31.52\\\/~drslewis\\\/camille\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/voice.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Bob Jones University\",\"Danny Brooks\",\"Darren Lawson\",\"Laura Duncan\",\"Lonnie Polson\",\"PRotest Signs\",\"Protest Songs\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Listen\",\"Sing\",\"Speak\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/16\\\/lift-your-head-up\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/16\\\/lift-your-head-up\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.drslewis.org\\\/camille\\\/2011\\\/10\\\/16\\\/lift-your-head-up\\\/\",\"name\":\"Lift Your Head Up! 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