{"id":3759,"date":"2011-12-02T11:34:42","date_gmt":"2011-12-02T15:34:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/?p=3759"},"modified":"2013-07-29T16:14:55","modified_gmt":"2013-07-29T16:14:55","slug":"i-will-keep-singing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/2011\/12\/02\/i-will-keep-singing\/","title":{"rendered":"I Will Keep Singing."},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s been a huge week. My dear Dad<\/a> fell, and the women in his life — Mom<\/a>, my sister-in-law, and me — were completely helpless. We had to rely on the kindness of two selfless and available men to help lift him back to the bed. I had PTA duties. The Christmas tree is only half-lit since my brilliant idea to create my own “pre-lit” tree has failed now for the third year. The advent calendar is still in the box. My mom needed me to drive her to the eye doctor for a routine procedure that’s only scheduled at 4pm on Thursdays. Due to this and that, the kids had to come with us. We did manage to entertain all those other grandparents in the lobby, I s’pose.<\/p>\n

Normal stuff, you know, life! It’s busy and worrisome and frenetic, and I’ve probably forgotten half of what I was supposed to do anyway.<\/p>\n

One nice advantage to Mom’s current (and temporary, we believe) undrive-ability is that we get to chat a lot. Like old times. Yesterday, as we were pulling away from the pharmacy at 6:10, Mom reminisced:<\/p>\n

You know, honey, you are laid back. You are<\/em>. I remember those ladies in the Presbyterian church nursery saying, ‘She is so placid! She is such a placid baby.’ I used to worry that you’d never stand up for yourself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And then Mom giggles. Lovingly and knowingly giggles.<\/p>\n

I have really, really good parents. I’m not just saying that in a “I-should-honor-my-parents” sort of way. It’s the truth. They are really wonderful. They love Jesus. And they love their family<\/a>. Those two sentences describe everything you need to know about them. And I know they love me. I know that. I’ve always known that.<\/p>\n

When Mom was chuckling at her placid baby, I remembered this week in the cyber-world. I thought about telling her, but it’s not worth the breath. The words have swirled. I got called a “hater”–complete with scare quotes. And the name stuck. Congrats to the so-called “rational” middle on the name. ::yawn::<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I get that I’m a kind of ballast in the IFB world. The gutter on one side of the bowling alley that you don’t want to fall into. The Malcolm X to the “rational”-middle’s Martin Luther King. I’m actually okay with that. I’ll be the Ralph Sheepdog to their Wile E. Coyote. We walk in together, clock in together, and then we frustrate each other. Each needs the other.<\/p>\n

[youtube]http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=uOSuhxFo76o[\/youtube]<\/p>\n

It’s checks and balances. The Sage needs the Prophet. I’ve studied it for decades now. I thought I was the Sage. I have a Ph.D. in Sagacity, remember. But I’m not the Sage.<\/p>\n

But you dear, dear friends in the “middle,” you’re fooling yourselves. What exactly do you think I hate<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Let’s look at the words I’ve had flung at me.\u00a0From this comment<\/a>:<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve gone through your website and tried to find one time where you personally approached a person about something you disagreed with. Nil. Nada. Zilch. If you had such a problem with Berg\u2019s teaching why did you not go to him and reason it out?
\nHere\u2019s my simple \u2014 you won\u2019t listen anyway because I\u2019m not as smart as you \u2014 assessment:
\n– You are not saved. The reason why is you have never truly asked for forgiveness of your sins. Probably because you are better than God.
\n– You are a spoiled brat and you come from a family of them.
\n– You are looking for truth from, of all people, Janis Ian?!
\n– You are a schismatic.
\n– You are in love with the world.
\n– You only listen to people who tell you want you want to hear.
\n– You husband is too much of a pansy to tell you to your face you are a brat.
\n– You are smarter than everyone else. How did the world get along without you for so long?
\n– Did I mention you are a spoiled brat?
\nBut, rather than consider that anything I have said is true, you will simply delete this comment and go crying to someone who will tell you what you want to hear.
\nAdding a \u201cDr.\u201d prefix doesn\u2019t make you more superior. You may have added more knowledge to your brain, but your character is in decline. At the very least, you are the same brat I knew about 20 years ago.
\nGod is love. Jesus drove out the money changers. Those principles are not in conflict.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Or this one<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Oh, for God\u2019s sake! Get over yourself. What a whiny, bitchy, attention-seeking-whore of a martyr you are.
\nYou and I were at BJU as undergrads at the same time. I was gay then and am still gay. I got over my time there without looking for so much sympathy. Put it behind you and put your life to some good use. Good god.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Now, help me out here — who’s hating<\/em>?<\/p>\n

I’m not including the threats against my kids or my home. The private messages filled with passive-aggressive insults and mind games. The love bombs<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So what gets me threats? Let’s get an overview here. I have stated publicly that:<\/p>\n