{"id":762,"date":"2008-02-12T08:00:33","date_gmt":"2008-02-12T13:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/2008\/02\/12\/here-i-raise-my-ebenezer-1\/"},"modified":"2008-02-12T08:00:33","modified_gmt":"2008-02-12T13:00:33","slug":"here-i-raise-my-ebenezer-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.drslewis.org\/camille\/2008\/02\/12\/here-i-raise-my-ebenezer-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Here I raise my Ebenezer. #1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here I raise mine Ebenezer; hither by thy help I’m come;
\nand I hope, by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home.
\nJesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God;
\nHe, to rescue me from danger, interposed his precious blood.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’ve heard myself say several times over the last few months, “I guess it all started when . . . ” There are so many ways I can finish that phrase.<\/p>\n

In one sense, it all started when Elise was born<\/a>. I could probably find things earlier too, but I don’t want to go too far back.<\/p>\n

When you bury your child, you question everything. All the little clich\u00e9s people say. God really protected us from a lot of the silly things people could have said, and I will scream from the mountain tops that we clearly felt God’s care wrapped around us from the very beginning.<\/p>\n

Grant and I have four children in Heaven. After the last miscarriage, I was still just numb. To be a mom of four and never having met one of them was a lot to bear.<\/p>\n

It was exactly five years ago this week when I probably reached my lowest point. Here’s how I described it way back when<\/a>. I’ll just copy and paste it below:<\/p>\n

While I endured the roller coaster of grief\u2014from denial through guilt and self-pity and bargaining to sadness and finally acceptance\u2014and learned from it that God was always lovingly in control, the second week of February 2003 was probably my lowest moment. I had had two additional miscarriages since Elise was born \u2013 that\u2019s four pregnancy losses total. Satan attacked me with three horrible thoughts:<\/p>\n