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Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.

John Milton

I have recently published on Scribd many of the official documents that led to our exodus from fundamentalism, including our resignation and other correspondence from the aftermath. If I mentioned them in my Ebenezer account, I linked to them there. I haven’t even had the guts to read one of them in its entirely yet — that’s just how painful this all is.

Be sure to read my valiant knight‘s theological tomes: specifically here to Stephen Jones and here to Gary Weier. It will do you good — for your heart, mind, and soul. John Milton would be very proud!

18 thoughts on “Freedom

  1. I’ve been watching you upload these. . . and with everything that goes along with this time of year, I’m sure this has not been easy. Praying that you tangibly feel God’s comforting arms around you.

  2. (since this blog, like many blogs, invites comments and reactions)… I read and enjoyed reading a lot of these posts – much like I’d enjoy watching a prize fight or a one-sided debate. And I’m probably part of a very large group of students who would now find themselves disagreeing quite a bit with the theology/philosophy at BJU/(S). (and WTS for that matter) And I mean venting or telling stories about injustice past is a good time (and I’ve probably done so for both BJ and WTS on my own blog). But at the end of the day, I’m not really convinced that doing so is really proclaiming the greatness of God’s grace… in fact it almost seems to be doing the complete opposite. I hope it’s at least therapeutic, (and yeah, i really hesitate to press “submit” because this seems like a really insensitive reaction) but I’ll be really happy for you when I visit your blog and see “Move On” under your categories of things that it’s time for. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Yeah, move on. Like we need to just move on from other sins in Southern Christianity.

    I’ll move on when it stops. I’ll move on when God lays it upon my conscience to move on. You can move on. I have no problem with that. But it’s like telling Nathan to stop haunting David after his sin.

  4. Camille,
    I have a big favor to ask. Scribd is not playing nice with my laptop, but I would really like to read all that you have there. Is it possible to get that info another way? If not, I understand.

  5. @ Samuel

    I agree with Camille. We can’t move on simply because people get tired of listening to us and refusing to change.

    If it were a different cause, such as a commitment to feeding children because she (hypothetically) experienced starvation as a child, you most certainly would not tell her to move on with her life. You’d aplaud her and tell her that she was doing God’s work.


    I read the letter the pastor sent you. I can’t believe that he wanted you to leave the facebook group and take your posts down and he then singlehandedly “disciplined” Grant for your “disobedience”.

    I don’t understand the need for secrecy. He said that things should only stay between people who can help, people who need to be reconciled, and God. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t understand why they do it.

    It’s the same thing that’s being enforced in the Tina Anderson rape case. The pastor at her ex-church told everyone to keep mum about it.

  6. “and the light shined in the darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not.”

    thank you, camille, for continuing to shine light in the darkness of fundamentalism. it is critical for the healing of the mutual pains we share from our separate woundings at their hands. i commend grant as well for such a powerful october response to dr. weir’s letter. your continued strength in courageous grace is wholly inspiring.

  7. Thanks Camille. I think the problem is my laptop…it is falling apart…and hopefully will be getting a new one soon.

  8. I have an honest question: Did you not notice any of these problems in the years you were at BJ? Because students realize it from Day One. Maybe it’s just easier to see when you’re witness to all the tattle-telling in the dorms ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m just surprised that it all hit you in your last year there. Did you not notice it earlier?

  9. Jen said:

    Did you not notice any of these problems in the years you were at BJ? Because students realize it from Day One. Maybe itโ€™s just easier to see when youโ€™re witness to all the tattle-telling in the dorms ๐Ÿ™‚ Iโ€™m just surprised that it all hit you in your last year there. Did you not notice it earlier?

    Well, yeah, I did notice it a lot earlier. I knew of dear friends whom I knew were unjustly accused as undergrads. I thought it was a fluke. I really did.

    And I tend to have a bit of the absent-minded professor schtick going. I’m dingy.

    I do think that things have intensified because the fluidity and exposure from the web is making grievances more public and is making BJU more nuts. The ideas haven’t changed really; BJSr had the same philosophy that these men have. But the quantity has increased.

    Mind you — this shunning was going on for years before the last year. Years! I thought I had earned my chops. I thought that the new administration was kinder and gentler. I thought that my friends — FRIENDS — would listen to me.

    That was the biggest blow. Stephen was my student. Gary was a long, long time friend and brother. Lonnie too. Danny felt like a friend too. Maybe I was naive the whole time that I thought they thought of me as their sister. I thought more of them. I dunno, Jen. I don’t.

    It’s easier to drop a person than an ideology. That’s really what it comes down to. For years I thought I could dot all my Is and cross all my Ts to gain respect. And after I had, I realized it still didn’t matter. It’s a hard thing to realize.

  10. Hey, Camille,
    I love your new Web Page face lift! It looks great! Regarding the ‘stop talking about it language’ of ‘move on’…it sounds a lot like other similarly ‘annoying language’… ‘just let it go’! Someone said that to a renewal seminar ‘guest’ ( who had been in our sharing group ) who had been really badly hurt by a misguided prayer team person during an evening whose theme was ‘healing’! Some one told this person to just ‘Let it go!”, as if doing that would make the pain, hurt and dreadful sense of betrayal just go away! My husband and I are having to confront the lay leadership about this, this month. Do any of our problems just go away by our never facing them and never talking about them and never honestly working through the feelings and emotions about what happened? If they ‘do’
    Please somebody tell me HOW? And show me in the Bible where a loving God, a Loving Savior would ever speak to his suffering children like that! People need healing, and an important part of healing ‘is’ forgiveness. But people who have suffered also need validation for what they have gone through. Invalidation is actually a form of re abuse as well as rejection. When we go to a real friend, they listen to us, they don’t try to shut us down with ‘cliches’, empty ‘pat answers’, or meaningless, loveless sermonets. It took me a long time to learn who to safely share with. Now, after knowing how it feels to be invalidated by the ones I should not have trusted in the first place, I commit to not responding that way to anyone. When we know how awful it feels to be betrayed, we can commit to never doing that to anyone else. I really believe God empowers us to grow in His Grace when He sees our hearts and trusts us to be a good friend to someone. I believe it is very unwise to ‘trust people who do not respect us.’ I was a slow learner about that, but I have learned to be wise with whom I share my personal life. I also did not want to ‘go back’ to the place where I was so badly ostracized. Not even for a visit. i just had to completely stay away. That is perfectly normal behavior. It’s also protective. “Get out of the group and get the group out of you. Get your life back and your self-respect too. Get your sense of humor back and your joy too. Get your dreams back and learn to live again too.” It’s so wonderful to be free in God’s Grace and love. Allelujiah! Barbara

  11. I have just come across this site. Although long ago, many of my friends went to BJU. Though authoritarian in those days, it was not corrupt. I look at BJIII’s itinerary (and Stephen’s), going each week to yet another relatively modest and blue-collar church to keep the funds flowing and I can’t help but see in this something of the business model that has served TBN well: the founders continue to live privileged lives while keeping salaries low and manipulating support from a middle-class netowrk of those who are asked to give sacrificially. It is supporting a dynasty, not a ministry; inertia, not dynamism; a family legacy, not a real institution.

  12. Camille I’m just realizing this now. Since blogging on your web site, for a year,I really have received mega more healing, more freedo. And the constructive process of reasonable / honest venting with honesty, has really released so much more of the anger caused by spiritual abuse, that needed to be replaced with peace. I thank God for that. I also thank you for having a web site like this, for people to feel free, safe, and comfortable to post how ‘they really feel’ about whatever. Being honest and truthful really works to bring us nearer to the light and to Christ’s healing. The more we let Him heal us, the more baggage falls off, and the more room there is in our lives for HIM. Silence and supression of feelings and emoions is never the answer. Speaking up, sharing and telling the truth , in a safe arena like this,about what’s really on our hearts, how we feel, how we believe we got where we are, and where we would like to go from here, telling the truth and honest heart to heart sharing, that’s the way to go. And those of us who have been able to risk and run with that, are all the better for it. Better ‘off’, not better ‘than’ others.Thanks Camille, for letting the telling of ‘your’ pain and the story of your ‘healing journey’, be used by the Great Physician as spritual tools for ‘our’spiritual surgery. God Bless you in your wonderful ministry.

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